It's summer again and the kids (and their teachers! Woot!) are home! This means loads of opportunities for more family-fun time and memory-making moments. Annnnd more chances for whining, fighting, cleaning up messes, getting burnt out... well, you get the picture.
So here's our summer challenge this year: use a few tricks and tips to create a fun, enjoyable summer for both our kids AND for us. Let's go!
Challenge #4: Create a smart "no yelling" daily routine
A great summer day can spiral downhill fast if mom or dad feels like all they do is yell at their kids all day (ironically, that was my day today with one of my kids. Sigh.) We might not be able to avoid all the tense moments in each day, but we can try to get rid of a few of the predicable ones by creating a smart daily routine for our kids.
Just like in the classroom, kids thrive on having a routine. Now, we're not talking about a rigid, never-changes schedule... more like a 'this works for us' schedule.
Here's how to create a smart schedule:
Step 1: Make a to-do list.
Make a list of things you want your kids to do each day that they don't like to do unless you nag or yell. For us, this list includes four categories:
- the general daily clean up of all.the.stuff.
- jobs that need to be done daily (empty dishwasher, wipe down the bathroom sinks)
- a few random, every-once-in-a-while chores that need to be done (strip down beds, dust)
- the activities that they don't always choose to do, but are good life-skills (daily reading, playing board games with siblings)
Step 2: Add "When___, then _____" moments to your day.
Identify the predictable parts of your day that your kids enjoy: mealtime, snack time, screen time, friend time, time with parents, etc.
Before each fun moment in their routine, add an item from your to-do list. For example, in our house our "When______, then _______" moments look like this:
- "When you get your morning chores done, then you can watch a PBS kids show while you eat breakfast." (morning chores: in our house, each big kid has a daily job and once-in-a while job that they have to do when they first wake up. They also have to clean up their bedroom and the upstairs basket. This is what we call their 'morning chores.')
- "When you clean up all the kid's stuff from the downstairs, then you can eat lunch"
- "When you empty the baskets, then you can have your screen time." (We have a large basket on each level of the house... throughout the day, I toss kid stuff into the basket to keep things sort of picked up. The kids are in charge of emptying the basket before any special events can happen.)
- "When you take a shower and get your pjs on, then you can have your dessert"
Step 3: Identify the rough parts of your day and target them.
There are three parts of my day that are predictably hard for me:
(1) The dinner hour, because I am trying to multi-task and my kids are melting down.
(2) Nap time when my two big guys- who don't nap- want to be loud and/or play with me during my typical 'quiet time.'
(3) Allllll the time between meals where all I hear is 'can I have a snack?' 'is it time for snack?'
Once I figured out these few times needed adjusting, I was able to brainstorm some solutions and put them into our routine. The dinner-prep hour became the 'play outside' part of our schedule (or a bonus screen-time moment if it is a rare rainy day).
To get the quiet-time I needed during naps, I made the rule that the big guys had to do their 20 minute of reading then, followed by playing a game together (cue evil mom laugh) in the guest room. It knocked off two of my to-dos (reading and games) and gave me an hour of quiet time.
I assigned specific times for snacks (10 and 3) so that they didn't have to wonder when the next treat was coming.
Are your early-risers creating stress for you? Tell them that if they can tip-toe into the playroom when they wake up without waking up mom and dad (after they clean their room, maybe) then they can watch a morning show before breakfast.
Is lunch a mess-creating, stress-causing moment? Maybe assign one kid to be in charge of making and cleaning up lunch each day. Or spread a blanket outside and have a picnic each day to minimize the mess. Or give yourself the luxury of paper plates and cups to make lunch clean-up easier.
Step 4: Write it all up and hang it where the kids can see it.
Like I said, I'm not telling you to write a minute-by-minute schedule..... but knowing what's coming next and what is expected of them helps your kids (and you!) navigate the day better.
Just to give a real-life example, here's what our schedule looks like:
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Wake up
Do morning chores / clean up the upstairs.
Watch PBS Kids show & eat breakfast.
Do a 'whole house clean up' - downstairs cleaned up and baskets emptied.
Play
10- eat a snack (if baskets are empty)
Lunch (if baskets are empty)
Quiet Time: naps / reading & game time
3- snack (if baskets are empty)
outside play time
dinner
showers / pjs
family time / dessert (if we have it)
bedtime
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Just a note: we don't always follow this to the letter. Life looks different here each day, but a good chunk of our routine usually stays the same. If we find that one part of our schedule isn't working well for us, we scrap it and change it. There are no hard and fast rules here :)
Want to continue to create a fun and stress-free summer? Check out all the Summer Challenge posts here.
